DISTRIBUTION: Previous parts hereAnyone else who wants this may have it if they have been granted permission to use the rest of the series, but others PLEASE ask so I know where it's going!
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the BtVS characters. They belong to Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy, and other parties.
FEEDBACK: Yes please! Flames will be used to light the fireplace 'cause it's so cold over here!
DEDICATION: To all of you who have sent me feedback on this story and I haven't responded.. sorry, I've been so busy lately and haven't had time to respond to anything!
SPOILERS: Season four
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Follows "Confronting the Enemy" and all the others in the series.

*

Buffy sat, gazing around at the serious faces of her friends, not quite grasping the truth in their words.

She chuckled, the sound sounding eerily strange in the tense and nervous atmosphere. "So you're trying to tell me that I was romantically involved with a vampire for over two years, and that I somehow just forgot him? There's something seriously wrong with that assumption. 'Cause I'm not seeing how I would forget about something like that."

"There's proof!" Willow exclaimed from where she was perched beside her friend, then leaned over and pushed back the cloth of Buffy's shirt that covered her neck wound. "Look. The scar. That's where Angel bit you."

"If Angel bit me then why wouldn't I have just staked him?" She replied, rolling her eyes.

"Because you forced me." Angel softly replied, the memory of her body so close to him, laying on top of her on the ground.. "You forced me to drink your blood."

"Well if you truly loved me you would've been able to suppress the urge to bite me." She retorted.

Angel lifted his gaze to meet hers. "No. That's not true and you know it." He stopped suddenly, and wearily brought his fingers up to press against his throbbing temples. "Actually, no you don't. You have no comprehension of how deep my love for you ran."

Buffy tensed. "If you love me as much as you say you do, then I would remember you. How could I ever forget something as meaningful as a relationship like that? If anything had happened like you said it did, even for just one day, I would never forget it."

Her words halted him, and he pushed back against the sudden flood of memories he felt of their lost day. He sighed, blinking back unwanted tears, and stood, then began to pace, willing the pain to subside. At least for now.

Cordelia sympathetically stood up next to him, placing a gentle hand on his arm, realizing what he was thinking about and how her words were affecting him.

"You should have told her, Angel." She quietly scolded, knowing that if they had the memory to share together at least he wouldn't be holding so much pain.

He nodded. "I know."

The others watched the silent exchange, not understanding what was corresponding between the two but also recognizing that it wasn't as important as the problem at hand.

They turned their attention to Buffy.

"You have to believe us, Buffy." Willow pleaded. "Please."

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. "How do I know that what you're saying is true? That you're not all part of some big conspiracy and he's not the leader?"

Xander gave her a look. "Come on, Buff. Like we would do something like that."

Giles favored her with a disapproving look, almost identical to Xander's. "That was quite unnecessary, Buffy."

"Oh, it was completely necessary." Buffy disagreed. "I can't trust anyone right now. You just saved the life of a vampire, and in my book, that's not exactly the greatest thing anyone has ever done."

"But Buffy, you don't understand." Angel replied, again taking a seat while Cordelia remained standing.

"But I *do* understand." She said, rising to her feet and giving them all accusatory glares. "You obviously aren't quite right in the head, or you wouldn't be thinking that this vampire is a loyal friend or whatever. You would just kill him without a second thought."

"Now why wasn't she like this back in high school?" Xander wondered aloud. Cordelia smacked him on the shoulder.

The others ignored them.

Willow stood suddenly and walked over to the table, grabbing a book and then coming to sit beside her friend again.

"What are you doing?" Buffy hostily asked.

Willow glared at her from beneath her lashes, and Buffy silenced any bad retorts, recognizing the witch's resolve face laying just below the surface of her annoyed face.

"I'm looking for a spell that could help you remember stuff."

"Yes," Giles said, reaching over for a dusty old volume that sat on the table, "That is very smart, Willow. I'm surprised we didn't think of that earlier."

"So am I." Cordelia mused.

"Well, meanwhile, I think I'm just going to go patrolling." Buffy grabbed a stake from the table and jumped up from the couch.

"I'll come with you." Angel immediately replied.

The others froze in their activity, raising their gazes to read the expressions of both Buffy and Angel.

Angel's seemed pained and longing, while Buffy's seemed only disbelieving and slightly apprehensive.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Xander asked.

Anya, who almost seemed permanently latched onto Xander's arm, pouted up at him. "Why do you care so much if they live or die? You never liked Angel, as long as they don't stop us from copulating, I don't see any problems here."

Xander covered her mouth with his hand as Cordelia and Angel, not used to the ex-demon's constant talk of sexual intercourse, sent them digusted looks.

"Yes, Anya, there would be a problem with it. And I thought we discussed the whole 'privacy' thing."

"Well, we did. I just don't see the problem with talking about sex in front of other people. It's not like they don't know what it is or haven't done it."

Grabbing her hand, he pulled her away from the group, and they just simply stared for a moment before Angel again turned his attention to Buffy.

"Look," Angel began, bringing a hand to place on her shoulder. She flinched away, and his face reflected in initial hurt at the stinging action, but he quickly covered it up and remindd himself that this was not her. Not really.

"I won't hurt you." He whispered.

Buffy didn't say anything, but simply nodded and headed to the door. He began to follow, but Cordelia tugged at his arm and he stopped to look at her.

Her face held only concern and he gave her a small smile. "I'll be fine, Cordy." He promised.

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Whatever. She's gone psycho on us, Angel! She could kill you!"

"She won't." He reassured her, attempting to pry her hand off of his shirt. She only held on tighter. "And if she tries, well, I'm stronger than her." Cordelia gave him an appraising look. "Alright, maybe she isn't, but her strength is certainly equivalent to mine. I don't see how she would be able to beat me in a fight."

She finally relented, dropping her hold on his arm. "Alright." She grudgingly replied. "But if she does go all psycho on you, promise to come back here."

"I will." He replied.

She sighed, lifting her face to meet his eyes. Again he saw not the strong Cordelia Chase that he knew, but a compassionate young woman that had gone through the death of a much loved accomplice and friend. "Be careful."

He nodded, and was soon out the door, all the while dreading what would become of her. Of his Buffy.

He wanted her to remember so badly, and as he ventured out into the darkness, following her darkened form through the streets of Sunnydale, he could only hope that somehow she would come back to him.

Without her, he was nothing. She was his redemption.

And the only way he could get that redemption was if he somehow proved to himself, to the world, and most importantly - Buffy, that he was worthy of her.

But he couldn't do it if she couldn't remember him.

Go to the next story Silent Surmising

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